Hey kids,
So there has been an aspect of this whole China experience that I’ve by and large ignored. That is, my Chinese language journey. I came here after finishing 3 1/2 years of Chinese study for my University major. I was feeling pretty unsatisfied with the prospect of graduating with this piece of paper touting my language ability, when personally, I was pretty unsure of how far that ability actually extended to. I had never gotten myself together to take the standard Mandarin exam, the HSK, so I didnt have that score to rely upon. And besides, I found that I had trouble writing characters by hand, simply because I was more focussed on conversational ability. The HSK exam largely assesses reading, writing and grammar structures. Thus, I decided that I needed time to focus on these technicalities. Introducing…an intensive Chinese language program conducted in Nanjing university. I found studying in China vastly different to your standard exchange experience. Because we were taking Chinese classes for second language speakers, most of the people I interacted with were exchange students too. Apart from my Korean friends, we all socialised in English to accommodate differing levels in Chinese. The classes were monday to friday, 8am until 12pm. Students were placed into appropriate level classes and could choose to swap as they pleased. Classes were taught by native Chinese, most of whom spoke little more than a scattering of English. The classroom environment was entirely Chinese, regardless of level. Homework consisted of review and prep of lessons. Subjects included reading, writing, speaking, listening and bonus classes such as newspaper reading, history, ancient Chinese and HSK prep which you could choose at your leisure. I personally chose to fill my spare time with brush painting, taichi and getting private lessons on the Erhu (traditional Chinese instrument.) These were all taught in Chinese and I felt greatly benefited because I was genuinely interested in these things. I felt frustrated by my inability to meet locals though, as our accommodation and classes were held in separate buildings. We were segregated. To get around that, I tried many different schemes. I found a local language partner, made sure to go straight to the few chinese who went to the same parties I did. I met some really great people just by being open to those really random approaches that often happen here in China. But it still wasnt forming the core of my interactions. Frustrated with my lack of immersion, even while in China, as well as feeling generally over studying Chinese (saturation point is quickly reached and there are only so many hundred characters you can stuff into your brain before needing a break and a chance to consolidate.) Deciding that I was more than happy to call it quits on the study, I started looking for other…opportunities… in China. My plan had been to go travelling, Tibet, Nepal etc. But I wasnt ready to leave my Chinese level where it was currently at. I still wouldnt feel happy upon graduating. I’d feel…dishonest somehow, like I didnt deserve my accreditation.
An internship was suggested to me, and I decided it was just the thing.
I applied for a whole heap and got a whole heap of responses. I was most interested in one in Beijing and one in small city Ji’An. Well, I decided to put in my best and go for the most difficult option. To move away from any safety blankey expat communities I might latch onto in Beijing, to go to a small city in a (seemingly) distant province. It was the best decision I could have made.
I struggled with the language and cultural barriers, but as they say, nothing worth obtaining is easy. As I am getting to the last stages of my time here, I realise that it really hasnt been that long at all. But I feel like Ive achieved a lot.
I had a breakthrough moment not long ago. I went to a social enterprise workshop with my collegues and a whole group of young people involved in the small (but growing) NGO sector in China. I was really nervous, thinking that no way would I be able to follow what was going on, it would be a complete waste of time where I would embarrass myself by asking ‘what?’ too many times. Well, it was hard and occasionally I needed a translation of some of the more complicated concepts, but overall I learned some valuable things and feel inspired about my own future in NGO organisations. It felt amazing to be able to sit in small group discussions about project planning and troubleshooting and to be able to make a meaningful contribution. I forgot that I was speaking Chinese because I was more focussed on what I was actually trying to communicate.That’s not to say that I knew every word that was being said, or that I followed every conversation, or that I spoke with even mildly correct grammar, or that I never had to ask someone to repeat or rephrase what they said…but I still made it to the end and dammit I’m gonna take that as a victory. When I finally finished the three day intensive, I found everything else so much easier. General chitchat, asking for directions… how could that make me nervous now?
Learning a language is all about roadblocks and overcoming roadblocks. The more you learn, the harder the roadblocks get and the harder they are to overcome.
With this new confidence in speaking and understanding spoken chinese, I feel like I can finally see past another block. I know that I need to sit down, study some more complicated vocabulary (those annoying words that I can talk around, or substitute for an English word but eventually need to learn) and take it back out onto the field.
Being fluent in Chinese isnt about a piece of paper from university, or about a number on an exam. To be fluent in Chinese all you need is the confidence to answer the question “are you fluent?” …with a defiant “yes, bitches!” Because confidence in your second language is the most valuable thing you could ever learn. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough. They usually are the ones who feel the least confident in their own ability.
Haters gonna hate (Photo: Emccall 2014)
Soaring Red Bucket 